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April 13, 2018
Talking about money makes me uncomfortable. 🤢
Listing 🤮 Why Does Money Scare Me?
- My mom threatens me with taking away financial support if she’s mad, but offers financial support if she’s happy;
- Since childhood, my mom and aunt have persistently reminded me to be grateful for all the money my mom spends on me, even when I didn’t feel good because of emotional neglect;
- When I was with my ex, we couldn’t talk about money, because it always ended with unpleasant feelings, i.e., from my amygdala’s point of view, the conversation was never safe;
- When I lived with my dad in my mid twenties, while he helped me get back on my feet, my grandmother was judgmental of the financial strain I placed on him;
- I’ve been climbing out of credit card debt for more than seven years (but I’m happy to say, my current debt is lower than someone my age!—if only my income weren’t lower than average, too! 😅);
- My last bad relationship involved a lot of money mooching, and it ended with some of my things accidentally moved out of my apartment.
- I have student loans.
Quote Response 💸 Money
I have plans to take dance lessons. 💞 Love is difficult, but I keep trying my best. 💕 And I don’t need the money, but I do need the money, at least according to the statistics, and at 32 years old, I’ve got 8 more years before I need to judge myself about my progress.
😒 …I think I’m below average for my educational level. I don’t know, though. It shouldn’t affect my ego, as long as I’m living each day like it’s the best one, and no one’s life is getting 💩 on terribly much because of that decision.
Poetry is Safer Than Home💎 Precious Prose Poem
My parents haven’t ever let me go without. They’ve let me drop to right before going without, but given they’re trying to financially climb out of lives less off,—given they should be able to celebrate the success of finishing such treacherous climbs—they’ve withheld from spoiling me. Well. My dad spoils me a lot, actually. I wish he’d buy himself a new television. Because I experienced dark days unfamiliar to them though, struggles I didn’t want to make, but felt more prideful than I should have to cry for help, so I simply endured,—I do have an understanding of what without feels like,—and this unique form of suffering helps us respect precious resources like money, time, and love.
Prewriting 🎢 7 Questions to Ask
In the future, I ought to explore these ideas more:
- How can I make money while still living a meaningful, authentic life?
- Is meaningful, authentic living more or less important than avoiding the suffering of without?
- How can I gamify stock exchanges to support entrepreneurs and innovation?
- And if I’m going to invest in entrepreneurs and innovation, how can I also budget investments in our ecosystem, to delay the world’s suffering long enough for innovation to catch up?
- How, and where, will Chase and I acquire our first house?
- How can I make money writing without selling my soul to black market tactics, and without investing my time in someone else’s idea/brand through a third-party employer?
- How can I make money teaching international students online?—would a teaching credential be required, or is this something I can do in the near future, in lieu ofOr in addition to… just thinking I need family time in there. No Workaholism! substitute teaching?
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