Posted in Intermissions, 🚪 Cats

I 💛 Cats

I.

I love cats. Like
I profoundly,
maddeningly,
astoundingly love
each and every cat.

We’re talking cats with
short hair, cats with long,
cats that lick butts
then carry on,

as well as cats with spots,
rosettas, and stripes,
cats of all colors,
sexes, and
heights.

I think cats are nice.

II.

I love bengals especially
like Phoebe, my girl.

(She’s  twelve years old,
but shh,…she’s still

a Little Kitten
Princess Girl

and she will
stay that way

as long as we’re
in this world.)

III.

When I was twenty years old
and had nowhere else to go;

when he was mean to my
girl, and I felt like next
nothing;

I promised
I would rise above
in my second coming,

take my princess
to a cocoon, where
only love was blooming,

and in the Central Valley sun
I feel our souls now warming—

so let’s put
one pawsitive

foot forward
every morning—


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Posted in Neurodiverse, 🚪 Cats

I ♥ Being Autistic

Although April is Autism Awareness Month,& I’m celebrating all month by posting daily on CleoAutismAwareness.comif you’re overwhelmed by the month-long thing, you can also celebrate autism just for today… since it’s also 🎉Autism Awareness Day🎉, hurray!

Neurodiverse 🧠 A Neuron Story 🧠 Part I

🤬Negatron: It’s already 5PM PST, fellas.

🤓Musitron: What about it?

🤬Negatron: You’re tooting the horn for Autism Awareness Day when it’s ¾ over.

😎Sassitron: People are just getting out of work…?

😍Positron: They have all night! to take a photo, make a social media post, read an article, watch a video… whatever they want for 🎉Autism Awareness Day!🎉

🤓Musitron: Most creative things happen between 9PM-11:59PM anyway.

🤬Negatron: FUUUUUUU💪IIINNNEEE—

My biggest contribution for Autism Awareness Day is my publication on The Mighty. In case you missed it, this was my update on Facebook:

Side thought: I still use Facebook, even though the Zuck makes me uncomfortable. I enjoy connecting with my dad’s side of the family—dodging the acidity of the right-wing posts, diving into the joy of the cat videos my grandmother and father regularly find—and Facebook is their primary social media. (Insta’s my preferred choice. 🤗)

I’ve been writing on autism all day, ideas and memories I’ve never felt safe enough to put to the screen before, leaving thoughts all over the Internet.

It’s part of my existential crisis slash creative micronova.

Also, I’ve been spreading lots of cats. In my science fiction novella, I’ve designed a race of cats, an invention of superintelligent AI utilizing the algorithm behind cat obsession. Turns out AI likes cats as much as humans do.

I just love photographing Phoebe in the window. 🦁

Listing ❤ I Love Autism

For Kourtnie.net, my creative launchpad, I decided to make a splatterboard of different reasons why I’m grateful to be autistic. Too often we talk about the struggles of autism, but it can be every bit as joyful to know you have access to a very unique perspective of the world. So without further ado, I love being autistic:

one because of my tactile sensitivity, sequins bring me way more joy than any of you other fools;

two because of my auditory sensitivity, music connects me spiritually to somewhere safe, and that makes meditation easy, fills me with hope; it’s one of the healthiest way for me to kick my negative thinking habit;

three because of my visual sensitivity, I enjoy splattering ink and paint on paper, just to play with color, to see how it interacts with gravity; and I appreciate glitter and watercolor for the same reasons;

four because I’m sensitive to pain, when I press my fingertips into the sharp edges of my chunks of amethyst, crystal, and fools gold, that texture makes me feel just alive enough, just edgy enough, to be mesmerized by my epidermis again;

five but really, do you think about all the cells living and dying in your body?—your body is a galaxy of other, tiny mechanisms that, together, resulted in the emergence of your consciousness, your life, your one in a trillion-trillion-times-whatever chance to be here today; and if it weren’t for my autism, I’m not sure if I ever would have felt safe enough as a woman to venture into science dorky enough for me to realize how cool my epidermis is;

six because of my olfactory sensitivity, aromatherapy helps me sleep, especially with the bamboo burner Chase bought me for Christmas;

seven because of my sensitivity to my circadian rhythms, if I sleep in a dark room, I can rest much, much easier than most people with my level of anxiety;

eight because of my sensitivity to food, all the beautiful galaxies of neurons inside my stomach, I think I might enjoy chocolate a wee too much; and I’m especially obsessed with G&B chocolate 😎;

nine autism gifted me with video gaming superpowers;

ten I developed special interests easily, and when I’m interested in something, I can accomplish anything, so long as no one gets in my way;

eleven I may be emotionally sensitive, but this is equally as good as bad;

twelve but I am terribly afraid, because of my sensitive amygdala, and I have to love this flaw about myself, or I can’t love myself at all; so I rock back-and-forth on my computer chair constantly, soothing myself, feeling grateful I’m so good at self-soothing;

thirteen and I am grateful for how gently I care for life, my birds and cats and plants all equally allowed to have the best life we can work together to give them, a household that may have humans at the lead, but doesn’t rule with tyranny;

fourteen I am grateful to have my cats, to know my cats love me too;

fifteen I am grateful autism magnetized me to computers; and growing up in Orange County, I know how to pick form-and-function-combo computer products, like this cat paw wrist rest, which’ll wrestle with your d’aww feels:

sixteen I am grateful, more than anything, that autism magnetized me to writing, because without the ability to somehow communicate, I would have remained trapped in my body I think, and that’s really all that I see differentiating me from my “high function” life, and some of the meltdowns the moderate-severe autistic children suffered in K-12 schools;

seventeen I am grateful to have a strong enough, and organized enough, brain to separate myself from emotional trauma long enough to evaluate, sympathize, and contemplate my way to safe and reasonable conclusions, before I have to return to that emotional place, where the meltdowns or shutdowns wait for me to let go;

eighteen I am grateful to have a developmental disorder that shaped the experiences, which then shaped me, so I could become the person I am today.

With these 18 expressions of gratitude, my attitude of autism has grown up to adulthood. Or so I hope. The trick is to believe everything I wrote down is true, right? 😎

If you think this is cool, check out my autism awareness website, which I’m updating  daily April 1 – 31st to celebrate Autism Awareness Month. 😉 Also, if you’d like to see more posts like these, you can:

  • support me on Patreon 🤗 (I just set it up!) or
  • explore the links to Amazon.com I’ve embedded throughout this post; I receive a percentage of all referred purchases. 😘

https://www.patreon.com/kourtnie
Do you enjoy Kourtnie.net?
Consider supporting me on Patreon.
🌸 @ $1 – $35 a month, 🌸
you not only help me add more
daily hours to writing and editing posts,
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such as poetry, postcards, and books.
🎁 Pledge rewards are limited. 🎁

 

Posted in Intermissions, 🚪 Cats

I 🖤 Music Videos

I love music videos. They help get me break negative thinking patterns, especially anxiety or depression triggered by my female identity, and they only take 3 to 5 minutes of my time.

Watching Right Now
🖤 
10 Music Videos 🖤 3 Celebrities 🖤

It’s important to 👀 watch 👀 music videos, I think—not merely click ▶, then go about your business elsewhere while the music plays in the background. The music videos have rich visual texts embedded throughout, and the skits at the end are often beautiful thought experiments.

So experience them as an art form. Enjoy the moment.

Compliment Sandwich 💙 Taylor Swift

While I know many people positioned their lens over “Look What You made Me Do” for its repetitiveness, if you watch the music video while wearing 😎a storyteller’s glasses instead😎, after making sure you’re up-and-up on the background story, you’ll see just how beautiful of an artist Swift really has become. I’ve always dug her hits, but now I dig her Muse, too.

Listing 😍 Beyoncé

I already wrote about why I love Beyoncé; go check it out, or just enjoy my three favorite picks from beyonceVEVO:

Meaning Making 😺 Katy Perry 😻 Autism Hero

Beyond the fact Katy Perry makes the cutest perfume bottles ever (see featured image), I fell in love with her after reading In a Different Key: The Story of Autism and discovering the beautiful performance she shared with Jodi DiPiazza at Night of Too Many Stars:

😂 I can’t watch that video without crying. 😭

If you want to avoid crying, watch these 3 empowering music videos instead:

I especially appreciate watching “Unconditionally” while making art for self-care and self-love.

Then there’s this:


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Do you enjoy Kourtnie.net?
Consider supporting me on Patreon.
🌸 @ $1 – $35 a month, 🌸
you not only help me add more
daily hours to writing and editing posts,
but you can receive handmade products,
such as poetry, postcards, and books.
🎁 Pledge rewards are limited. 🎁