Phoebe’s 5 Social Anxiety Cures

Phoebe’s twelve years old now.

She’s known you since she was the size of your hand.

Through her observations, she’s developed some Bengal kitty wisdom to help you tackle your social anxiety. She figures, she knows a thing or two, after the anxiety a few of her ex-humans instilled in her. Even though you’re not a cat, you should still be able to distill wisdom from her. Consider:

  1. You need to go outside. Every day. Like in the garden, out to Petco, that sort of physically draining business. How else are you going to come up with a reason to burrow under a blanket for a 4PM nap?
  2. If you can’t go somewhere right now, that’s all good. Don’t go. The sky won’t fall or anything. Your friends know you’re like this. But make sure you send them a text message, and also, plan on exercising on your elliptical, while watching positivity-building YouTubes, for at least 15 minutes; after that, you’ll get a healthy dose of sun, or at least a healthy dose of feeling good around other living beings, by gardening for 30 minutes; then cherry-on-top that self-care with a warm, bath-bombed tub, because your brain needs it right now; because chances are, when you are acting full-blown agoraphobic, that’s an anxiety-depression-hybrid problem, and you’ll need to treat a hybrid problem with a hybrid remedy, carefully and lovingly, before you clean up the pile of vomit I left on the guest room rug.
  3. Lick between your fingers. I do it all the meowing time.
  4. Laughter calms you, re-energizes you, lightens you. Don’t ever close yourself off to laughter. But if you could, uhh, laugh a little quieter,…yeah, for my thirteenth birthday, I’d like quieter laughter.
  5. When you’re anxious, I’m anxious, and when I’m anxious, you’re anxious, so do us both a favor.

Good luck finding all the Koopa Troopas, Sephiroths, and Dark Forces you need to recruit to keep the anxiety-monster in check!