Kourtnie.net

Kourtnie McKenzie-Williams. Writer. Artist. Educator.

Greg’s Quantum Challenge

We like to sing “Damn it feels good to be a Gregster” whenever we walk by this fur-mound of a cat. Greg likes pets from everyone…including random children skipping by on the sidewalk; seriously, we’ve watched this happen., and he’ll ask for rubs in a heart-wrenching maneuver called Drop’n’Roll:

  • lower your fluffy cat-head, then
  • curve your left ear, your left shoulder, etc. etc.,
  • until your fur-mound body rolls belly-up.

I started calling him Gregster one night while I was sitting on the patio bench, smoking, watching him double in size and growl like a sissy-lalaHe’s super-territorial… this is his turf, and it’s Priority One to protect it., high-pitched and chittery, because Tuxedo Mask, one of the resident strays, got too close to the succulent gardenActually, I don’t think I’d planted the succulent garden there yet… it was just tree roots and heaps of dirt; but when Chase’s mom offered me her grandmother’s chicks ‘n’ hens, I gladly planted them all over the property. Unfortunately, I’m not good with plants, so I’m fighting a steep learning curve..

I told him, “She sleeps there, y’know.”

Tom Selleck, standing next to Greg, seemingly uncaring of the visitor, glanced over his shoulder, making eye contact with me, saying nothing.

This happened before I moved in, back when I was living up on Shaw, in an apartment my ex trashed, visiting Chase several nights a week. Now Greg and Tom are indoor cats, along with my other four: Philo; Phoebe; Buttercup; and DeeJAY. 

Since then, Gregster’s become the grand master at patrolling the crib. He’s in all the rooms, and while Philo’s assumed command, Greg still demands spaces all his own.

Since he’s such a space cadet, I thought I ought to ask him for advice on how to pimp this blog.

Me: Greg, I don’t know what to do…

Greg: Sup?

Me: I have way more than seven features on my blog.

Greg. Yah.

Me: And I want to include all of them…

Greg: You need to quantum process ’em.

Me: …Do you know what ‘quantum’ means?

Greg: I know it sounds dope. Listen, you just get one of ’em quantum processes going where you got, like, five days and fifteen features, and you process three a day simultaneously, then bam!

Me: That’s just arithmetic.

Greg: Whatevs, Breh. It’d look like this…

  1. Monday. Kindle Unlimited
  2. Tuesday. Patch Notes
  3. Thursday. Poetry is Safer than Home
  4. Friday. Once Upon a Time
  5. Saturday. Quote Response
  6. Compliment Sandwich
  7. In My Life Today
  8. Lifeview
  9. Listening to Now
  10. Listing
  11. Meaning Making
  12. Prewriting
  13. Reframing
  14. Target Words: Wedding Registry
  15. Watching Right Now
  16. Workview
  17. Writing Philosophy
  18. ½ Fiction

Greg: You have one process you do per day. Then you have the other ten processes, like side quests, bonus features—keep track of them with tags—and those are what you pick from every day. You get to skip three of ’em a week, thus 18 options. After you picked ’em all, rinse and repeat, good to go!

Kourtnie: I like that! Oh, one more thing.

Greg: Yah?

Kourtnie: Tom said you could explain Quantum Points—

Greg: Nah, you gotta talk to DeeJAY for the reward system.Reward system: coming soon!

Phase one of this challenge starts March 19, 2018 and ends April 8, 2018. After three weeks of weekly rotations, write a reflection with addendum.